Does The Black Church Play A Part in Keeping Black Women Single?

October 5, 2015

When I read the question asked by CNN: “Does the black church keep black women single?” I was like “Oh Lord” here we go again; people questioning the relationship status of black women. Only this time they're bringing it to the church to find answers to why we are single.

PrayLeading the argument on this topic is relationship advice columnist Deborrah Cooper, who believes the devout style of belief and attachment to the black church is what's keeping black women of the Christian faith, striving to live and breathe the gospel in their daily lives single and lonely.

Cooper, who is black and says she is not strictly religious, argues that rigid beliefs constructed by the black church are blinding black women in their search for love….

Dr. Boyce Watkins, a professor at Syracuse University and advocate for African-American issues applauded Cooper's courage to voice her opinion, however, he agreed — and disagreed — with her.

“I don't think the church keeps black women single,” Watkins said. “But I do agree that some black churches teach women that they must only date a man that goes to church regularly.”

Patty Davis, a long time churchgoer in Georgia, says all the arguments over what the church preaches miss the point. What truly matters, she says, are women's motives.

“The real question is: What are you coming to church for?” she said. “To feed your spirit? Or your carnal desires?”

The church's effect on the romantic lives of black women cannot be gleaned from a mathematical equation or a select bible passage, Davis said.

“It is a woman's own actions and decisions that will determine the outcome of her love life, not the church's…Because the last time I checked, the church ain't no dating service.”