One of the hottest topics out right now is on why so many single black women are having difficulty finding and keeping a man. Of course this topic is extremely biased and up for debate, and so many people have their own suggestive opinions, but the topic is drawing so much attention that ABC Nightline decided to hold a second live round table discussion on the matter which will air on April 21.
During their first discussion, comedian Steve Harvey suggested that women set their standards too high. “The selection of men is slim but there are good men out there who are being overlooked,” said Harvey.
Comedian Mo’Nique seems to think black women have too many issues. “Black women have so many conditions, ‘I won’t this, and I won’t that…,” she said during a recent stand up performance from her “Spread The Love Tour.”
Jaqueline Rhinehart, the author of “My Organic Soul” says black women limit themselves and suggests they be more open to dating outside their own race to eliminate any problems with finding a man.
So with all the finger pointing at women for being at fault for not being able to find a man, does that mean women are suppose to just settle for any man who wants to give them some attention?
Joy Daily from Joy Daily TV weighed in a little on women’s expectations and having a list of standards. She also speaks on Chilli’s new show “What Chilli Wants” which has a lot of people talking because they feel as though some of Chilli’s expectations are a bit extreme which indicate that’s the reason she can’t find the man she’s looking for.
Dating and Relationship Expert, Author, Radio Host, Life Coach and Corporate Executive, JJ Smith shares some answers by offering 7 reasons why she feels so many black women are single; two of which are listed below:
The Black Man Shortage: Statistics show that 42% of Black women are unmarried. 70% of professional Black women are single. The numbers don’t lie and there is a real gap between “datable” Black women and men. Even if there is some degree of inaccuracy in the numbers, if you just talk to Black women, many will agree that there are some challenges finding a “good Black man,” that is, one that is not behind prison bars, gay, or with other races.
2. Too Many Black Women Have Bought Into the Stereotypes On Who They Are. The perception that Black women are hard to get along with, mean, bitchy, argumentative, bitter, etc., has become a reality for too many Black women. I know, because I used to be that way and still have relapses on occasion but irrational behavior and constantly “going off” on people, especially your man, is not an attractive quality to have when trying to maintain a relationship with a man. I had to LEARN that just because I was running things at work, didn’t mean I was going to run things with my man. So, I had to “check my attitude” at the door when dealing with my Black man. Maybe a man really needs to be the head of the household, and if you don’t trust that he can be, then leave him alone and move on. (read more)
Now, as much as some of you may not want to listen to a pimp, the truth of the matter is that a man is a man and they all pretty much think alike, just do things differently.
Pimpin Ken, the author of “The 48 Laws of Game” claims to have had over a thousand women in his career, and with that said, he feels he knows a thing or two about women. He had this to say in regards to getting and keeping a man:
“The one thing that I know even with my strong persona, you know like my pimp-like mentality, you know my desire to control; you know my got to be on top personality, there have been some women in my life that because of their dedication they nearly melted me; melted me to the point where I said that maybe she might be the one, because she was so down with me. She made sure that my clothes was clean. She made sure that I had food at breakfast time, and definitely at dinner time. She made sure that she was that bottom bitch….” He adds: “Now I don’t want to use the word bitch to make you feel offended, but sometimes you got to be the one to make that man happy baby…. The bottom chic got to be the most dedicated. She got to be the one that’s loyal to that man’s trust. She’s got to be dedicated to the point where – the man say it’s gone happen, she got to really believe in him, and if you’re not her, you can’t be like Co-Co. You can’t be like Ice-Cube wife who been with him since ’92. You can’t be like Snoop Dogg wife that been with him since ’97. You can’t be like Beyonce…. Will and Pinkett…. These chics they been down. They stood down with they man. They don’t let the public sway ’em away from the truth from being down, and that’s what you got to do.”
When you further look at the situation from a male perspective, you have some men who are taking advantage of the fact that there are more men than women and are using that phenomena to gain control.
For example, when referring to women who feel as though they don’t have to tell a man what they do with their hair, Big Al of The Al and Tony show rubs it in the ground that women and men are 15-1 and women should get it and keep it how the man likes it.
Olivia Sahar Alexa chimes in on the topic and has this to say:
So there you have it coming from all different angles. Choose up ladies, but choose wisely. There are so many men out there who are not what they claim to be.