Learning How To Trust Again Is A Process

January 3, 2016

Trust is the most difficult thing to gain and give, especially when its been lost. Being betrayed by a friend, a romantic partner, or even a family member has such a hard impact it’s just a human characteristic to put our guard up to protect ourselves, and be skeptical of trusting others, for fear of being hurt or disappointed.

“Fix-My-Life” star Iyanla Vanzant recently spoke with the folks over at Madame Noire on trust issues, and how we can begin to rebuild trust after someone has broken a bond. One of the things she had to say is:

“A liar is going to lie, and a thief is going to steal, a cheater is going to cheat. You have to balance trust with wisdom and boundaries. You can trust a liar, you just don’t trust what they’re saying when they say it without some kind of evidence that what they’re saying to you is actually accurate and valid. We get in trouble because after people have proven themselves to be untrustworthy, we try to trust them again wanting them to be who we think they are as opposed to accepting what they’ve demonstrated themselves to be. Now, does that mean that people cannot and do not change? Absolutely not. People can change, but you have to find and secure evidence of the change before you alter your experience and awareness of them.

Trust is the foundation of all relationships. To regain trust once it has been lost is a process. Trusting yourself and your own intuitions, and recognizing and accepting that everyone makes mistakes is a vital step in the process. By being honest and doing to others as you would want done to you is how we can find stability for stronger, long-lasting relationships that we can rely on.

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